Why I am glad I am a stay at home Momma.

Today as I was doing laundry I started to consider the idea of a 'series' on my blog. Not necessarily every post, but maybe once a week just a little bullet point something. It really didn't take me that long to figure out what to write about. To think of a subject that would always bring up interesting and new 'material'. The thought came to be while I was in the hallway and I could hear two little ones sitting in the bath tub having a conversation, or really role playing the following:

'Im going to eat you!!'

'Oh no, please save me. Luke!'

'You are going into the hot lava!'

'Don't worry princess i'll save you'

(Please infer appropriate voice inflections and pitch with each line).

I looked at the clock and it was 9:45am. I thought, if I were a working mom I would have missed this. I would be in a sales meeting right now or on a conference call. I wouldn't be able to give my kids the opportunity to play like this in the tub. If I were working bath time would come after school/daycare/work/dinner/homework/chores and before bed, which when you think about the in between time it leaves like 5 minutes right?

So starting right now I will about once a week be posting:

Why I am glad I am a stay at home Momma.

Reason #1

At 9:45 in the morning my kids can play in the tub as long as they want.

Reason #2

At 9:45 in the morning I get a glimpse into their imaginations as I furtively listen in on their fun.

Confessions.........

Ok, so my incredible husband bought me a laptop for Mother's Day this year (which comes pretty close to beating the BEST mother's day present I ever received...see below photo) as the one we were using before, which was a hand me down from my motherinlaw, died about three years ago. He felt I could use it during school with the kids and to keep our budget up to date and to pay all of our lovely bills. Plus it's a great way for me, a mom with four usually screaming, crying, MOM-ing, laughing, yelling, singing, disobeying needing instruction right awaying children to keep connected when I have a minute of peace and quiet, like right now at 11:17 pm.





That is a Remington 870 express 20 gauge. And I am a great shot!




Over the last two months I have done all of the aforementioned activities, plus maybe a few other pieces of random 'work' as my sister and I call it, or more like what we tell our children we are doing while on the computer: working. (although Kelly's kids are old enough to know that she is on FB or playing a game....i still have the power over at least 2.5 at this point....Evy is on to me.).

With that said here is the beginning of the confession. I love working crossword puzzles. My mom got me hooked when I was in my early 20's. Every day she would take the puzzle out and work it and then I would try to finish anything she left undone. Eventually I began working my own puzzle and I would get so upset at some of the answers because they didn't make any sense or my mother would know the exact answer which I thought to be utterly random....come to find out there are clues they use over and over and now I am usually in the know. :) I love working them. Over the last few years a new game has come out called Sudoku. It's a grid of 9 boxes with 9 squares in each box and you have to put in the numbers 1-9 vertically and horizontally and within each of the 9 boxes. Not sure that made sense but pretty confident you all know what the game is.

Real confession: I have found Sudoku on Facebook games (gasp with hand clutching pearls right?! I know! How in the h. am I supposed to get any motherly duties done now!). It's actually called Squidoku, thank you very much copyright infringement law for the stupid name, but it's the same game. Oh my. I have limited myself to ONLY ONE game and I can play after I have read my Bible and my kids have had breakfast. Then I do a little 'work' while they eat and not talk to mommy while she is working.....wait, didn't I say something like this in my last post???


gulp.

My Facebook Status!

While I was typing my last post I saw a commercial on TV about what starts on NBC tomorrow. I couldn't really put it on my last post since, well you'll see, so I put it as my status on FB, but I changed my mind and decided to put it on my blog as a separate entry...here it goes!

WIMBLEDON IS ON TOMORROW (excitement and jumping around hands in the air etc.)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love, absolutely love to watch tennis. If I could check out for the entire week every morning and for this weekend I would watch every single match televised. I am not sure why I like it so much. I mean, my favorite sport EVER to watch is hockey, obviously, I'm from South St. Paul, but why tennis. It's not really that fast paced, and not too much checking or high sticking going on on the court if you know what I mean. Maybe I enjoy it because it's so proper....but I loved watching John McEnroe and I don't think anyone would use the word proper to describe him.
Anyway, don't bug me in the mornings this week with anything because I will be watching tennis!!!! And of course tending my dear little children in the Lord for this is right.....pray for me.

Why?

In church today we sat in a new spot. My sister and her family are in town so we sat with her and my parents. They were going to sit in my parents' 'regular' spot, but it must have been occupied by some brave soul unaware as to where they just placed their derrieres or there may not have been enough room for all of us. So we sat in the right middle section instead of in the balcony, which is where we usually sit (less distraction with the littles if an exit is needed). It's funny how a different spot in church can change perspective on the sermon on the worship even who is surrounding you -as most people sit in the same place- familiar faces, unfamiliar faces, friends can impact the experience.
Today I was hit with the line, as usual, in the Chris Tomlin song
'you see the depths of my heart and you love me the same'.
That amazed me today. My heart is so awfully black and sinful. Filled with selfishness and desires at times that if people knew what they were it would make them wonder about my walk with Christ. Why would He do that? Why would He still love me after seeing that garbage? And the kicker is, I will never be different until the Day He returns. Until the Day He makes me truly perfect.
Julie Ann

The internet has everything!!!

This is going to be a short post because it's so late and I am really tired.

I needed to run tonight and was planning on doing 2.5, and I was pretty sure I could do it and not hate it too much. I got a challenge to go 3 and I ended up running 3.5 and I felt great and I didn't do any walking! So I basically did tonight what I need to do next Saturday. I am thrilled. Now if I can only find someone to run, *and actually it's more like a slow run quick walk sort of jog but to save space and reading time I will just call it running, in exact step with me wearing a DVD player strapped to their back so I can watch a movie while I run* I think I'll have a great race!! I bet they make a DVD player holder backpack someplace on the internet. Yes! They do.

Oh I like this....

The difference between Friends and Lovers:

Lovers are always talking to one another about their love;
Friends hardly ever about their friendship.

Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other;
Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest.
C.S. Lewis
The Four Love


Which one am I? Can I be both? Is one better than another? Am I naturally one and not the other? Am I one and my love the other? Do we change from one to the other as we grow older, wiser, more familiar?

As my love caresses my arm, I think this is enough.

Robin?

This morning as I was sitting at the kitchen table reading my bible and 'working' online I hear a noise over by the stairs (we have a morning ritual where the kids, usually Coley Boy, sit on the bottom stair and make noises and we shutter and shriek in fear about what wild animal/pirate/superhero could be lurking round the corner). I heard the noises and got up from my chair to 'spy with my little eye' as Baby G says what could be awaiting me....and there was Robin? I went up and hugged him on the stairs and said 'Oh, Batman you look awesome!' 'Mommy, I'm Robin' 'Oh, sorry bud OK! I love your mask'. All the while my mind is reeling....why is he Robin??

We have started a new activity this summer - going to the library on Mondays. It was only our second trip this Monday, yes, all five of us go (it will be fun someday I'm sure...I'm very confident!). The kids can pick 2 or 3 books and one movie each. Coley Boy picked Batman & Mr. Freeze, Subzero! He thinks it's the best movie in the world and came downstairs when they were done watching and told me how exciting it was and what happened, but he's Robin.

I don't get that.....why wouldn't you be Batman? He's the big man, the stud, the hero. Robin is a........bird - no offense intended for anyone named Robin reading this. (As I am writing this Coley Boy is yelling 'I'M NOT BATMAN!!!') It's like Ponch and Jon from CHiPs right? Jon who??? or Bo and Luke Duke.....step aside brown haired Luke!!!



However, after doing hours of soul searching and personality diagnosis about why my boy would want to be Robin instead of Batman, I have suddenly recalled when I would play with my cousin I ALWAYS opted to be Dyna Girl and my cousin would be Electra Woman. Well, there you have it. I have solved the mystery. The boy is his mother's son. I love him a lot too.

Cutting some slack.

For the past few years the Lord in His grace and mercy has been working on my life in one specific area....well, actually in several areas but it often comes back to this one.

I grew up in a terribly legalistic church where your behavior mattered more than your soul, although no one ever said that out loud it was inferred with all the scowls and disapproving looks or the blatant rebukes from the youth pastor at the pulpit which could only have been meant for no one other than me and everyone knew it. Our church was more 'works based' than any catholic church in our neighborhood. ANYWHOOOOOOOO!!!

I am 38 years old. I have almost 9 years of marriage under my belt (the belt to which I am referring is a sleek ultra thin black one that you wear with a light weight cream cashmere button down sweater and a dark pencil skirt....and the outfit is completely about the belt, well and of course the shoes). I have four kids and a dog. I home school our children, and I love to sing at church.

Now with that past....you go to heaven if your perfect, and failing miserably when I was young to live up to those requirements, let's just say perfection makes it a little difficult to have much success in life at all. My expectations of perfection have been place, unwelcomed, on everyone in my life and they are expected to meet them. When they don't it's hell and when I don't meet my expectations, which again is perfection, it's hell! So basically we have a lot of hell going on.

Finally God grace......

So now that I have all these holy disruptions going on in my life the reality of perfection is slipping away quicker and quicker. I wish right now I could interject the beauty of the christian life and trusting Christ, or at least say that it is a joyful goodbye, but sadly it's not. It has been such a battle for me to let go of some of these 'musts'! I must have perfect children. I must have a perfect marriage, I must have a perfect house, I must I must I must I must!!!

ENOUGH!

[Beauty of Christ interjection now]

Through much sadness and grief which turned into growing in wisdom, the Lord has finally allowed me to cut myself a little slack. I'm just a sinner, but just a sinner covered in the blood of the all the Perfection I need. I will never NOT sin. I will be bugged at Sean for many things. I will get angry with my kids, and yes, possibly yell at them! I may be a week behind on laundry. But I have an Advocate on my side. I am not called to do it all. I am called to love Him, my neighbor, and to follow Him ~ do His commands, and if I don't....HE FORGIVES. Cutting a little slack has helped me go a greater distance in my faith and in my love for Him and my family and my friends. I feel the Lord has blessed me with such freedom in this realization. In this world we will have troubles we will sin, but take heart for HE has overcome this world.

I John 2.1

My little children, I am writing these thing to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.

So all of this to say that today I ran a mile, then walked a minute, ran another mile, and walked a minute and then ran another mile! I actually did 3.03 miles today. If you walk a little (cut yourself some slack) you will find you can achieve a greater distance. Excellent advice from two veteran runners and beautifully freeing advice for the Christian life. Don't get hung up on perfection! Walk a little, you will go farther.

Birthday Present.

As many of you know it was my 38th birthday on Saturday and my awesome family bought me the new Pearl Jam CD. I can NOT stop listening to this one song. The name is 'The End' and it is so beautiful and sad and writhes with emotion. Take a listen, it's incredible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqAP5ZA2Lkg

Broke a record!!!!

2.1, 2.1, 2.1, 2.1!!!!! (I am doing a dance that a black person would probably look really cool doing....sorry if I offended anyone, relax it was a compliment.) Only partially hating it. The pressure of a race and potential now public humiliation is somewhat comforting.

That's all.

Running

So I have secretly started running. Well it was a secret for about a week until a friend ran 93 miles in 24 and I had to confess to him the humor/shame of my AGONY as I struggled to finish my first mile, yes that is singular as in 1, and only 1 mile on the treadmill. I kept it a secret so when I stop no one would know and my pride wouldn't be too hurt among my friends and family as they ask me 'so, ya still running?' They wouldn't have to sit through the long list of reasons why I haven't been feeling well, then the kids with this, and my aching legs that, and then Sean had whatever, and it's been a month and I don't care anymore.

Clearly I have changed my mind about the secrecy, first with the FB confession and now this entry, and would like to hear some encouragement from you if you run or have ran in the past.

I am following Hal Higdon's 5K training (novice) schedule. I got it from my motherinlaw and it is pretty good. It has me running every other day with increases in increment of .25 miles per week. I then do a run/walk option on the non running days and have two 'rest' days. This time around has actually been quite pleasant. The first time on the treadmill I needed to do 1.5 and I did and I actually ran straight for one mile! with out hating every single second of it! and without feeling the need to throw up when I was done! and I didn't need an oxygen mask during my measly mile! I am now up to a WHOPPING 1.8, but I am ahead of schedule because I should only be at 1.75 lmao!!!!! But, I am really proud of myself because I run the entire time and for me that is really quite an accomplishment.

The other day I reluctantly told my sister (who has done a bunch of 5k's and is a marathon runner) that I was running. She got all excited and said 'We should do a race then!' I said, 'ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!' She called me back in about 10 minutes and said we were going to do the Independence Day run on July 3rd at Lake Harriet.

http://www.active.com/running/minneapolis-mn/independence-day-5k-and-10k-2010?cmp=1064 (I know there is a fancy way to make this link say 'here' or 'Lake Harriet', but I don't know how to do that).

I am totally freaking out about doing it because I want to be able to run the whole thing, but really don't think I will be ready. Sean, my love, will be running (he has done a 50 mile race and marathons and ran long distance in school that set records), my aforementioned marathon runner sister, and her husband, who can just pick up and do a half marathon with minimal training and slight pain. So if there is anyone a little less competent that would want to limp along with me I would love to see you there!!!!

Hopefully I will avoid this:

See ya there!!!!! :)

Praying for my husband.....

I love Sean. He is the most amazing thing in my life. I have said many times to him how I wish we would have met and married in our early 20's so as to have more time together. Then we both look at each other and laugh knowing it would have been a true disaster in our 20's! Not sure if we would have made it past the fourth date and definitely NOT gotten married ~ definitely not married.

In those roughly 10 years between our 20's and 30's he has literally done EVERYTHING! He has been:

• a commercial fisherman (rode his motorcycle from Florida to Alaska with a buddy)
• an EMT
• a white water rafting guide on the Ocoee River in TN.
• worked on a ranch
• played organized sports :)
• a pilot
• an adventure guide for Peak 3 ministries in CO.
• worked construction
• has his maters degree
• wild land fire fighter

At one point he said he was a dancer with Riverdance and I almost believed him. He is really funny and kind and loving and smart and eternally optimistic, always has on the rose colored glasses. He is a fun involved father and is always surprising me. Like for Mother's Day....he bought me my computer. I couldn't believe it! So I find it fitting to have my first blog be about him.

I find it difficult sometimes to see how I can 'help' Sean in his life, see above list, as he has done everything and is usally happy. How can I encourage him? He seems to never really be in 'need' of much. Unlike his counterpart who seems to be on the brink of falling apart often! But as we know that is a lie from the evil one and I know my husband is in constant need of many things.

I found this 'praying for your husband' list from church I think and I would love to share it with you. Each day of the month there is a specific area for which to pray with verses to go along side the prayer. I can't think of a better thing for me to give my husband than to be faithful in this discipline. I would encourage you ALL, married or single man or woman, to engage in this blessed activity. It fosters such unity and intimacy with your husband (wife) while he is away at work or where ever. Enjoy!

1. His Wife Prov 24: 3-4
2. Work Psalm 90: 17
3. Finances Luke 12: 29 -31
4. Sexuality Prov 5: 15-19
5. Affection 1 Cor 10:24
6. Temptations 1 Cor 10:13
7. Mind Mark 12: 30, Rom 7:25
8. Fears Psalm 27:1
9. Purpose 2 Thes 1:11
10. Choices Prov 1:5
11. Health Psalm 103:2-3
12. Protection Psalm 18:2-3
13. Trials James1:2 -3
14. Integrity Psalm 25:21
15. Reputation Matt 5:11 -12
16. Priorities Matt 6:33, Matt 4:10
17. Relationships Heb 10:24-25
18. Fatherhood Prob 23:24, Prov 29:17
19. Past Eph 4:22-24
20. Attitude Psalm 100:4
21. Marriage Heb 13:4
22. Emotions Psalm 40:1-3
23. Walk Psalm 15:1-2, Eph 4:1-2
24. Talk Eph 4:29
25. Repentance Prov 28:13
26. Deliverance Psalm 18:2 -3
27. Obedience Matt 7:21
28. Self Image Col 3:9-10
29. Faith Matt 17:20, Gal 2:20
30. Future Psalm 92:13-15, Jer 29:11

Much to the chagrin of writers this blog is going to have many ‘voices’, but all of which are mine! One of the main reasons I started this blog is to share with you thoughts about things I read or hear and see what you think. I also will be using this for updates on our adoption journey.

We are a family of six right now. Papa is our leader, Momma is in charge of all the other stuff ~ namely Bug, Coley boy, Baby G, and Fatty. We are here on this earth to joyfully worship God through studying the Bible and making its truths a part of our daily lives, expressing humble gratefulness for having what we don’t deserve, showing the love of God to one another, and our neighbors, giving generously the money, things, and time God has entrusted to us, and marveling in and enjoying God’s created world.

I hope you enjoy what you read and please let me know what you think!